"Only Ron Paul....."
"Ron Paul is the only....."
The above lines are usually followed with an absurd claim, like "Only Ron Paul understands the Constitution!" or "Ron Paul is the only Republican candidate who can break Wayne Gretzky's scoring records while teaching Gordon Ramsay how to cook!". (Some of the more hardcore cultists would never take their political savior's name in vain and only refer to the old Jew hater as "Dr. Paul". Yes, that's as creepy as it sounds.) This is always my cue to go into Verbal Assault Mode. To me, nonsensical rambling like this is like Wolverine's claws against Glenn Beck's chalkboard at its best and narcotics-induced insanity at its worst. I can tolerate a whole lot of things, but attempts by a mental deficient to spread vapid propaganda are not among them.
However, today is different. Today, I'm feeling intellectually lazy. In fact, I feel so intellectually lazy that I'm going to lower myself and use Paultardspeak. Ready ? Here we go:
- Only Ron Paul is mentally ill enough to think Iran should have nuclear weapons.
- Ron Paul is the only Republican candidate who voted to repeal Don't Ask, Don't Tell.
- Only Ron Paul thinks traditional marriage shouldn't be defended by a Constitutional amendment.
- Ron Paul is the only Republican candidate that thinks 9/11 was America's fault.
- Only Ron Paul thinks anarchist (and Cindy Sheehan's main squeeze) Screwy Lewy Rockwell is a genius.
- Ron Paul is the only Republican candidate who teamed up with the detestable Bawney Fwank to gut the military under the direction of Reichsfuhrer $oros's Progressivevik minions.
- Only Ron Paul thinks legalizing heroin and prostitution are Conservative values.
- Ron Paul is the only Republican candidate who's as vile as Mitt Commie and former Obama sycophant Jon Huntsman.
- Only Ron Paul is willing to be seen with Space Man Dennis Kucinich in public.
- Ron Paul is the only Republican candidate who would not have gone to war with Nazi Germany to "save the Jews".
- Only Ron Paul thinks accepting money from Stormfront is a good idea.
- Ron Paul is the only Republican candidate that had his own moonbat newsletter that claimed Mossad bombed the World Trade Center in 1993 and the federal government created the AIDS virus.